A recent checkup at the Doc's has revealed the cost of my newly crapped out pulmonary system.

"Because of the damage, you really can't afford to get a cold this winter", says she.

Who is she kidding? I have two kids and while they are semi-adorable, they will be-friend, bring home and snuggle up to any and all orphaned germs roaming the school yard.

I guess my only alternative is to get about in one of these 'fabulous' numbers...




Aren't they simply ummm ... Craptacular!!!!

Yup. I'm doomed.



Note: I know you're all seething with jealousy at the thought of me sporting one of these. Well maybe not so much seething as searching for those loony bin committal forms for me but I swear, these are a really real product and are really really available to buy. You know... in case you're nuts enough to want one.