Things don't bode well for christmas shoppers.....
..... when you have to wait 45 minutes for service at 9am with absolutely no other shoppers present AND what you're trying in vain to purchase is in fact a new christmas tree that will fit into the little cottage's living room AND every sales assistant you flag down glares at you as if you've just asked them to sing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas', buck naked, painted green and with tinsel in their hair!
When I say 'wait for 45 minutes', I should clarify. I was in fact, served immediately on arrival however once the girl in question discovered that my enquiry was of the plastic spruce variety, she replied with 'ohhh I have no idea actually. I'll go find someone for you'.
The thing is you see, she didn't actually go anywhere. She just wandered around the sparkly christmas decorations department a bit more until I chased her down and asked her if she was in fact, planning on finding me a plastic spruce expert/christmas-type sales assistant...'Oh yes!' she replied, 'I'll just go find someone for you' (again).
Clearly she thought that perhaps I'd decided to spend the day, waving my hands back and forth in front of the vast array of animatronic santas to see if I could get them all to sing in chorus! (Although I must add here that I am in fact guilty of just such an attempt in the past tee hee hee!!)
Enter youngish christmas-type sales assistant some 10 minutes later. 'Sorry about that. Can I help you with something?' To which I replied..'yes please, I'd like to purchase this christmas tree'. 'Oh..right...ummm well I'm not sure we have any of those actually but I'll go and check out the back'. Me.. 'thankyou'. And off she went.
Enter slightly older christmas-type sales assistant (15 minutes later). 'Are you being looked after?'. Me.. 'I'm not sure really. Someone was checking on whether you had this tree in stock for me but they've been gone awhile'. 'Oh... ummm ok.. which tree was it?'. I indicated chosen tree. 'Right. I'll go and look out the back'. At this point, the mysteries of 'out the back' were really starting to frost my cookies.
15 minutes later both christmas-type sales assistants returned with, what I thought to myself at the time, had bleepin well better be my christmas tree!!!!!! Strange though... both youngish christmas-type sales assistant and slightly older christmas-type sales assistant, had the distinct aroma of coffee and cigarettes about them.
'Here we are', smiles slightly older christmas type sales assistant. 'This looks like the one'. Looks like the one??? It had better be the one, thought I. Just in case they were both in a nicotine/caffeine induce coma when they found said tree, I thought it best to check the box.
Guess what, dear listener? It was NOT my chosen tree. I mean, I guess it's an easy mistake to make really. My choice being green, 7ft tall with no fibre optic bits dangling from it.... their offering was white, 4ft tall and covered in little fibre optic balls.
It was sorted in the end though and I didn't mind really. I got a legitimate reason to wander around the christmas department of Myer for a while, even shoot the breeze with Santa himself. And that my friends, I would never complain about!
When I say 'wait for 45 minutes', I should clarify. I was in fact, served immediately on arrival however once the girl in question discovered that my enquiry was of the plastic spruce variety, she replied with 'ohhh I have no idea actually. I'll go find someone for you'.
The thing is you see, she didn't actually go anywhere. She just wandered around the sparkly christmas decorations department a bit more until I chased her down and asked her if she was in fact, planning on finding me a plastic spruce expert/christmas-type sales assistant...'Oh yes!' she replied, 'I'll just go find someone for you' (again).
Clearly she thought that perhaps I'd decided to spend the day, waving my hands back and forth in front of the vast array of animatronic santas to see if I could get them all to sing in chorus! (Although I must add here that I am in fact guilty of just such an attempt in the past tee hee hee!!)
Enter youngish christmas-type sales assistant some 10 minutes later. 'Sorry about that. Can I help you with something?' To which I replied..'yes please, I'd like to purchase this christmas tree'. 'Oh..right...ummm well I'm not sure we have any of those actually but I'll go and check out the back'. Me.. 'thankyou'. And off she went.
Enter slightly older christmas-type sales assistant (15 minutes later). 'Are you being looked after?'. Me.. 'I'm not sure really. Someone was checking on whether you had this tree in stock for me but they've been gone awhile'. 'Oh... ummm ok.. which tree was it?'. I indicated chosen tree. 'Right. I'll go and look out the back'. At this point, the mysteries of 'out the back' were really starting to frost my cookies.
15 minutes later both christmas-type sales assistants returned with, what I thought to myself at the time, had bleepin well better be my christmas tree!!!!!! Strange though... both youngish christmas-type sales assistant and slightly older christmas-type sales assistant, had the distinct aroma of coffee and cigarettes about them.
'Here we are', smiles slightly older christmas type sales assistant. 'This looks like the one'. Looks like the one??? It had better be the one, thought I. Just in case they were both in a nicotine/caffeine induce coma when they found said tree, I thought it best to check the box.
Guess what, dear listener? It was NOT my chosen tree. I mean, I guess it's an easy mistake to make really. My choice being green, 7ft tall with no fibre optic bits dangling from it.... their offering was white, 4ft tall and covered in little fibre optic balls.
It was sorted in the end though and I didn't mind really. I got a legitimate reason to wander around the christmas department of Myer for a while, even shoot the breeze with Santa himself. And that my friends, I would never complain about!
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